Well, here it is my first blog post. This is exciting and scary at the same time. A wise, good friend told me that when one experiences these two conflicting feelings simultaneously it means you must be doing the right thing. I can think of many moments in my life when I felt this way before: my first day of college, the two times I packed up all my stuff and moved to new cities, my wedding day. So if all that stuff worked out, I am sure this will too. Like those moments, this journey has a backstory.
I have always had hidden aspirations to be a writer, humorist, and storyteller someday. When I was younger I found comfort and joy in expressing myself through writing. I kept a journal, wrote poetry, and even some short stories. However, as I got older and busier I turned my attention to my academic goals and building my career. Then a few years ago I was laid off from a job. For the first time in my life, I didn’t have a plan, next step, or new goal to pursue. I thought: now that I don’t have anywhere to be from 9-5 every day what in the world will I do with all my time?
During those three months (which I now lovingly call my “Spiritual Sabbatical”), I began to pay attention to other things. Things that recharged my soul, gave me a sense of possibility and helped me make a shitty situation fun. This was when the idea for Off The Clocker was born. Then I sat on it. I told myself that it was not ready yet. That my ideas were not clear enough. That the world was not going to get it. At the same time, I felt the pressure of life and adulting calling to me again. I stopped writing and started going on interviews and eventually went back to focusing on the familiar grind of the nonprofit worker bee. This grind put me on the path to the starting of my journey to become a certified coach. Coaching then led me to reconnect, once again, with my passions, including writing until the idea for Off The Clocker became an itch I just had to scratch!
I can think of no better way to mark the start of the Off The Clocker story. So here it is, the first thing I will every publicly blog about. The first poem I wrote after a 15-year hiatus. Fun fact: It was inspired by a peer coach who challenged me to write a letter in the voice of my 20-year-old self (Thanks, Claire Haas!).
On Not Being Enough:
Walk down the street decked out in your brightness.
Find solace in the visor that gives your face shade from world’s intensity.
Stand tall, move forward, and keep your eyes on the prize.
Conquer this day with the zeal of a warrior.
Let your clothing be the fierce protective armor that fortifies your unapologetic commitment to humor and joy.
A commitment to fight your fears with laughter.
Let this commitment be your light in the darkness.
Let this commitment be the compass for your soul.
Commit to this despite the obstacles, the pain, and the weight of the world you feel on your shoulders.
Commit to this to spite those obstacles, that pain, and that weight. It’s temporary.
When the pressure of these burdens make you feel like you are not enough, remember: Not every obstacle, pain, and weight deserve to benefit from the strength of your shoulders.
Your shoulders were destined to carry more deserving things.
Things that are worthy of who you are.
You are whole. You are brave.
You are unconditional love and compassion.
You are faith in others with words and actions.
You are the dreams of your elders come to life.
You are the most passionate practitioner of humble badassery the world will ever see.
You are too much in all the right ways. You are enough.
You are blazing trails for your children’s children.
A critical mass of warriors who will all be more than enough.
They will flood the world with greatness ignited by the strength you will muster right now.
The chorus of their gratitude will be the melody of your legacy.
A legacy worthy of admiration for the beauty and grace it adorns on your shoulders.
So stand up straight.
Sing when the world tells you not to.
Flaunt it with pride.
What were your shoulders destined to carry? Send me a note if you’d like to share. I’d love to know!
Thanks for reading.