With a few days left in 2018, I am finding myself contemplating the interplay of having freedom and having certainty. I am thinking of the metaphor of a child with a kite. Its at the front of my mind because I recently saw Mary Poppins Returns and the kite is a strong metaphor in the movie, just as it was in the original. Its a symbol of change, of hope, of things that need to be let go, and of new things that take their place. It has left me wondering what it is that I need to let go of, what are the things I am holding on to that I shouldn’t be. Wondering how far I want my kite to fly and how much I am willing to let go of certainty to find freedom. This makes the control freak in my squirm with anxiety at the thought. It’s not easy to be free when your mind wants to control things to keep you safe from harm.
But if you want freedom, sometimes you have to be ok with not knowing, you have to be ok with just trusting that you’re enough, that the universe has your back, and that you may feel aimless as you float around but eventually you will end up where you are supposed to be. You also have to be ok with knowing that sometimes you’ll get stuck in places you are not supposed to be. You’ll be stuck in a rut, job, relationship, friendship or situation that like a kite stuck in a tree. Something will need to happen to get you out of it. Some form of help or rescue either from others or from yourself. It won’t be easy – you may need to climb. You may need to bend and you may get scratches or even fall. It makes take you multiple attempts. You may even start to rationalize that the thing you are stuck in is not so bad. That you can make it work. That you can find a way to be happy or content here. Rational thoughts won’t change gut feelings – they may quiet them for a bit but eventually, they come back. They come back in the most minor of discomforts that give you the loudest message possible – you’ll get sinking feelings in your gut. That job, friendship, relationship, or situation will start to feel tight, and uncomfortable -like a pair of pants that is too tight or a shirt you grew out of. That is the moment we are reminded that while we made the best of it for as long as we could, we are still stuck. We tried to control and create a reality that will not give us the energy and flow we need to get to the level of freedom and soaring we want and need to have in our life.
So in the last few days of 2018 that is the thing I invite you to contemplate along with me. How far do you want your kite to fly? What will you let go of to make it so?
Thanks for reading.